Have you ever felt nervous when meeting people at a networking event? Do you ever feel that your thoughts are jumbled about, and your words don’t come out the right way when introducing yourself? Get ready to shoo those butterflies away and gracefully lead your way through interactions feeling like you said what you needed to say and made the connections that will bring those opportunities your way. In this blog post I’m going to talk about three main lessons related to making a lasting first impression that I learned from watching Alessandra Wall’s video course ‘Articulating Your Value’ and Tatiana Kolvou’s video course ‘Delivering an Authentic Elevator Pitch’, both found on LinkedIn Learning. The first lesson I will talk about is how choosing a relevant backstory and defining what success means to you can clarify where you want to go and why. The second lesson I will dive into will be about why we need to continuously be growing our social network and social capital. The third lesson I will talk about will be using warmth when engaging with people.
Who are you? And What Are You Going To Do About It?
Before we go out and begin to put ourselves on display for all to see it is vital that we take the time to figure out who we are, what we truly want, and how we are going to tie it all together to get where we want to go. Think simple, compelling, and focused. Start by choosing 1-2 words that best describe you and build out form there. Using myself as an example, I’m a playful creator. I not-so-secretly mock the formal world in my spare time, with the believe that uniforms are ridiculous, and in a way, cute. I much prefer looseness, freedom, and playful things where essential human things like humour, vulnerability, and love can exist. I get bored of routine, robotic-like activities, much preferring to be apart of something that’s always changing and challenging me in new ways. Ever since I was a kid I’ve enjoyed creating such as designs for furniture, architecture blue prints, video game scripts, to name few. Now a day my creative output as evolved into song writing, musical compositions, and creative writing. Knowing this about myself gives me a much better sense of direction when it comes to choosing what I want to do, in this case, a career, that will result in a much more sustainable and enjoyable outcome for me and those I share my life with. For instance, working in a factory doing mundane repetitive tasks is not my bag baby. For some people it’s paradise and works for them just great. For me, I’d get depressed, likely resort to alcohol, and be doing myself and my family a great disservice. However, being involved in the details of project where things are likely to be in a constant state of change, all the while challenging me along the way, will likely yield a better sense of enjoyment and accomplishment for me, and my family. It’s all about being completely authentic, first with yourself, speaking and living your truth, and then beaming that authenticity out onto every you do and are a part of. Whence you’ve mastered yourself, meaning you know yourself, what your values are and what you want, you then can more easily communicate to people what they need to know about you and are much more likely to find yourself in places that you want to be and with people who resonate with you.
Creating The Purrrfect Roster And Then Some
The bigger your social network and the better your engagement with your network the higher the chance you’re going to have an abundance of opportunities, which of course leads to having more opportunities that better suit what you’re looking for. You want to be constantly growing your network and making connections with people who are in the fields that you want to work and engage with (Remember me? I’m the playful creator). After you know what direction you want to go in it’s time to create a short script of how you will engage these people. It’s a good idea to start with a backstory that is relevant to the direction you want to go in. For me, I may want to talk about my creative background and the enjoyment I’ve had by being creative since I was a kid. Next, we should link that back story with where we are at today, education and experience wise. For example, I may link my creative past with my decision to embark on a journey into project management. Following this step, we want to emphasize the direction we are heading in now. For me, I may want to talk about how I want to use my project management knowledge and skills in the political arena and try to make the community a better place. Once you have an idea as to what you’re going to say to people to filter out the wrong ones and hook in the people who are involved in those areas that you desire to be in. People support and promote the people they trust and can relate with on some level. You’ve got to truly believe in yourself before others will believe you and what you’re doing. By sharing your backstory and tying it together with your value and the direction you want to go in people will feel you, know you, and ultimately trust you. Some other important things to consider are making a list of the people who are currently in your network, and then making a list of the people you want to add to your network. Once you have your lists created you can begin to plan who and how you’re going to make the connections and ultimately foster the relationships that are going to benefit you (and them) the most. You should always be seeking to create win-win scenarios for yourself and those in your network. You want to be consistently adding value to the people in your network while simultaneously raising the value you have to offer others. Seek ways that you can help people, whether it be connecting them with someone else, offering to let them borrow equipment, or offering advice/information that may be of value to them. You will want your network to consist of people who resonate with you and understand your value. By boldly putting yourself out there and connecting with these people with your purest authenticity you will eventually build the necessary trust to foster these relationships further. These relationships will become the people of your tribe, or in other words, your network.
Have Warmth In Your Approach
Warmth is essentially to what degree does someone like you, or in other words to what degree do they view you as a friend or enemy. Your warmth is the first thing people will judge about you and will greatly influence whether the relationship blossoms or ceases to exist beyond that brief moment. First, it’s important to have a genuine smile as well as a genuine interest in the person (beyond whatever agenda you may have) with whom you are engaging. A snug handshake, not too limp nor too tight, is crucial for taking your first encounter to another level. When you shake hands both of your brains release the chemicals oxytocin and dopamine into your blood streams. These chemicals help to nourish the budding relationship by establishing further trust and pleasure with those involved in the handshake. I know that from previous engagements I always feel much better about someone after we’ve shaken hands, mysteriously I trust them more following the touching of our hands. It’s important to bring your whole self into your interactions, hiding your true self is likely to make you less relatable. When I was younger, I would do this often by not being “fully there” and instead be thinking of something completely separate from what’s was happening in those moments. Though not as often, I also was guilty of being too transactional, or “business”, from time to time. This almost always would result in both myself and those I engaged with losing out on the opportunity to truly connect whenever I was off in dreamland or strictly about business and neglect to nourish or acknowledge the human side of things in interactions. On the other hand, whenever I come into an interaction with nothing to hide completely comfortable and open about my core values, sharing stories and making myself vulnerable both myself and the other person(s) always leave the engagement feeling good, like a real connection was made. When we get someone’s full attention the little super star diva inside screams with excitement. It also helps to foster a safe environment where everyone feels safe, accepted, and able to be themselves without fear of judgment or ridicule. A real connection allows for the growth of amazing things and opportunities that otherwise would not have ever been realized if I was cold and straight up professional or not all there. Another important thing is to make sure your eye contact is gentle, comfortable, and respectful of the other person. Look into their eyes when they are speaking to you, lean in a little to show your interested in them as a person and what they have to share with you. When considering this it’s important to note that a healthy balance of looking away occasional is more preferred as opposed to staring at them in the eyes like some creep. Build rapport by emphasizing and relating to what they’re saying. Use “you”, “me”, “we”, and open-ended questions to dive deep and make the connection real. I often try to use words like “we” and “us” to emphasize that we’re on the same team and can function as such seeking to grow together. Another saying I often say to myself and implement as one of my rules when engaging is “be the most engaged and the least attached”. This implies that you’re completely engaged in whatever you’re doing while remaining unattached to the outcome. In other words, I would very much like for my interaction to go well with someone and that we both benefit from our interaction, whether that be in a business or pleasurable sense, but I’m indifferent if it doesn’t go this way and unattached to the outcome. I reduce the importance of what I hope for and funny enough by doing so often get what I hoped for or better because the person doesn’t feel smothered by me like I’m there just to take from them but quite the opposite.
There you have it, three lessons (more like twenty!) that anyone can find value in when wanting to up their networking game. Know thyself and what you want, keep building that tribe, and don’t forget to throw some logs on the fire and warm up the environment and everyone in it. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. Oh! Before I go, here’s a link to my demonstration of a pitch I would use to give a great first impression… Watch ‘Matt Pitch’ | Microsoft Stream
