Brain Cable wrote, “Like most people, I have preconceptions about what an undertaker looked like. Mr.Deaver fulfilled my expectations, entirely. Tall and thin, he even had beady eyes and a bony face. A low, slanted forehead gave way to a beaked nose. His skin, scrubbed of all color, contrasted sharply with his jet black hair. He was wearing a starched white shirt, grey pants, and black shoes. Indeed, he looked like death on two legs.” (Cable, 2002, The Last Stop)

In my opinion, Brian Cable’s writing in The Last Stop was very well written and involved several descriptive passages that created a vivid image for it’s reader. I chose this passage in particular because of it’s creepily accurate portrait of the man he describes. His description of the funeral director truly is the image of death.

This passage improves Cable’s profile by drawing you in and helping you to see through his eyes. One way I judge a piece of writing is by how it makes me feel and more importantly IF it makes me feel. The quoted paragraph did just that. Reading about the appearance of Mr.Deaver made me feel nervous and uneasy, it even caused goosebumps.

Another way the passage improves the profile is by adding to the overall vibe of the writing as a whole. As you read you begin to understand what being there was like for Cable. He get’s your to think in the direction of his choice and is able to conjure emotions, thoughts and questions from his readers.

Reference
Cable, B. (2002). The Last Stop. In R. B. Axelrod, & C. R. Cooper, The Concise Guide to Writing (3rd
ed., pp. 57
60). New York,
NY: Bedford/St. Martin’s

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