Draft 1 (533 words)
Electronics is a technical field in Physics. It is a branch of physics which is concerned about the flow of electrons, working of different types of devices like transistors, transformers, etc. There are many electronics retailers which provide their customers with a variety of services in different types of devices. Some of the famous electronic retailers over the world are Best Buy, Future Shop, Adventure Electronics, etc. One of the leading retailers among them is Best Buy, that’s why I went to one of their stores near to my house.
It was appearing to be a huge building with a huge blue and grey themed building with a huge parking-lot as it seems to be from the road. I parked my car near the main entrance because it was so cold outside (around – 10oC) with snow squalls. It seems like these winds are kind of warning sign for me to not go inside but, as it is well said by pirates, “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. “Then I just went through the winds and was finally reached inside the store. I was feeling really excited to see all the latest electronic devices in front of me and couldn’t wait to try all of them. The environment was very pleasant with low volume Classic music and proper bright lighting over each device. I tried to be calm and just asked the guy with best buy T-shirt and a badge, as appeared to be working there. As vivid my memory is, I think the person I spoke to was Nick and assuming from his smile and activeness, I think, he is enjoying his job. I asked him to tell me something about the history of Best Buy. He told me that it started on August 28, 1966.
They started to sell some electronic devices by the name of the company as Sound of Music, but they changed it to many other names as they decided it to be Best Buy in 1989. It was Richard M. Schulze with his business partners who started this business.
I asked him about any new wireless speaker came out because I really wanted to have one for a long time and nowhere else is better than Best Buy to purchase any electronic device. He showed me many speakers, but I liked the Sony speakers which were at a great price with a discount of 45% and with the best quality, what else we need for a speaker. As the geek guy at Best Buy was explaining me about the figures to notice about these speakers, it seems like he knows it pretty well and was assuring its quality as his hands were moving and no unwanted movement with a confident eye-contact and a constant explanation. I was really impressed by their customer service.
So, straight up to cash-counter, I went. A young girl with blonde hair in her early 20’s was standing over the cash-counter. With a warm wish, she asked me for all the details and eventually, I bought that speaker.
Overall, I was impressed with Best Buy and it’s history and would recommend my knowns to buy electronics from here.
Draft 2 (623 words)
Electronics is a technical field in Physics. It is a branch of physics which is concerned about the flow of electrons, working of different types of devices like transistors, transformers, etc. There are many electronics retailers which provide their customers with a variety of services in different types of devices. Some of the famous electronic retailers over the world are Best Buy, Future Shop, Adventure Electronics, etc. One of the leading retailers among them is Best Buy, that’s why I went to one of their stores near to my house.
It was appearing to be a huge building with a large blue and grey themed building with a huge parking-lot as it seems to be from the road. I parked my car near the main entrance because it was so cold outside (around – 100 C) with snow squalls. It seems like these winds are kind of warning sign for me to not go inside but, as it is well said by pirates that they are not afraid of storms for they are learning how to sail their ship. Then I just went through the winds and was finally reached inside the store. I was feeling really excited to see all the latest electronic devices in front of me and couldn’t wait to try all of them. The environment was very pleasant with low volume Classic music and proper bright lighting over each device. I tried to be calm and just asked the guy with best buy T-shirt and a badge, as appeared to be working there. As vivid my memory is, I think the person I spoke to was Nick and assuming from his smile and activeness, I think, he is enjoying his job. I asked him to tell me something about the history of Best Buy. He told me, “It all started on August 28, 1966”. (N. Jonahs, personal communication, February 26, 2019)
They started to sell some electronic devices by the name of the company as Sound of Music, but they changed it to many other names as they finally decided to name it ‘Best Buy’ in 1989. It was Richard M. Schulze with his business partners who started this business. Another awesome thing about the Best buy is that it is running on its own values and take them seriously, for instance, on their website, it is written that “Learning from challenge and change” (Best Buy, About us, 2002, para 4). I think that’s why Best Buy is one of the most successful electronic retailers in Canada as they are strictly following their rules.
I asked him about any new wireless speaker came out because I really wanted to have one for a long time and nowhere else is better than Best Buy to purchase any electronic device. He showed me many speakers, but I liked the Sony speakers which were at a great price with a discount of 45% and with the best quality, what else we need for a speaker. Another thing about the Best Buy store that they have a geek team which knows everything in every detail. As the geek guy at Best Buy was explaining me about the figures to notice about these speakers, it seems like he knows it pretty well and was assuring its quality as his hands were moving and no unwanted movement with a confident eye-contact and a constant explanation. I was really impressed by their customer service.
So, straight up to cash-counter, I went. A young girl with blonde hair in her early 20’s was standing over the cash-counter. Starting with a warm wish, she asked me for all the details and eventually, I bought that speaker.
Overall, I was impressed with Best Buy and its history and would recommend my knows to buy electronics from here.
Reference
Best Buy. (2019, February 26). Our Culture. Best Buy. Retrieved from https://www.bestbuy.ca/bestbuycanadacorporate/en/our-culture.html
Draft 3 (630 words)
Electronics is a technical field in Physics. It is a branch of physics which is concerned about the flow of electrons, working of different types of devices like transistors, transformers, etc. There are many electronics retailers which provide their customers with a variety of services in different types of devices. Some of the famous electronic retailers over the world are Best Buy, Future Shop, Adventure Electronics, etc. One of the leading retailers among them is Best Buy, that’s why I went to one of their stores near to my house.
It was appearing to be a huge building with a large blue and grey themed building with a huge parking-lot as it seems to be from the road. I parked my car near the main entrance because it was so cold outside (around – 100 C) with snow squalls. It seems like these winds are kind of warning sign for me to not go inside but, as it is well said by pirates that they are not afraid of storms for they are learning how to sail their ship. Then I just went through the winds and was finally reached inside the store. I was feeling really excited to see all the latest electronic devices in front of me and couldn’t wait to try all of them. The environment was very pleasant with low volume Classic music and proper bright lighting over each device. I tried to be calm and just asked the guy with best buy T-shirt and a badge, as appeared to be working there. As vivid my memory is, I think the person I spoke to was Nick and assuming from his smile and activeness, I think, he is enjoying his job. I asked him to tell me something about the history of Best Buy. He told me, “It all started on August 28, 1966”. (N. Jonah, personal communication, February 26, 2019)
They started to sell some electronic devices by the name of the company as Sound of Music, but they changed it to many other names as they finally decided to name it ‘Best Buy’ in 1989. It was Richard M. Schulze with his business partners who started this business. Another awesome thing about the Best buy is that it is running on its own values and take them seriously, for instance, on their website, it is written that “Learning from challenge and change” (Best Buy, About us, 2002, para 4). I think that’s why Best Buy is one of the most successful electronic retailers in Canada as they are strictly following their rules.
I asked him about any new wireless speaker came out because I really wanted to have one for a long time and nowhere else is better than Best Buy to purchase any electronic device. He showed me many speakers, but I liked the Sony speakers which were at a great price with a discount of 45% and with the best quality, what else we need for a speaker. Another thing about the Best Buy store that they have a geek team which knows everything in every detail. As the geek guy at Best Buy was explaining me about the figures to notice about these speakers, it seems like he knows it pretty well and was assuring its quality as his hands were moving and no unwanted movement with a confident eye-contact and a constant explanation. I was really impressed by their customer service.
So, straight up to cash-counter, I went. A young girl with blonde hair in her early 20’s was standing over the cash-counter. Starting with a warm wish, she asked me for all the details and eventually, I bought that speaker.
Overall, I was impressed with Best Buy and its history and would recommend mine knows to buy electronics from here.
Reference
Best Buy. (2019, February 26). Our Culture. Best Buy. Retrieved from https://www.bestbuy.ca/bestbuycanadacorporate/en/our-culture.html
All in all, the draft is quite impressive and focused to the subject. Moreover, the draft has provides the rice and vivid detail about the place -Best buy. After reading this draft, I can clearly imagine the place without going there.
Well, I read your draft and I found it very impressive but you can explain more about the customer services of Best Buy and check grammatical errors otherwise your draft is well focused and related to the topic.
great read, don’t forget to check for spelling, grammar and punctuation. check for capitalization and run on sentences. youll need a quote with intext citation and reference at the bottom.